Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he's wanted by the CIA, and that he sleeps upside down like a bat... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue... we know him only, as the Stig.
Some say he's illegal in 17 U.S. states, and he blinks this way [motioning his fingers in a horizontal fashion]... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his breath smells of magnesium, and that he's scared of bells... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he naturally faces magnetic North and that all of his legs are hydraulic... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he lives in a tree and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he's terrified of ducks, and that there's an airport in Russia named after him... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that wherever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he has no understanding of clouds, and that his earwax tastes like Turkish delight... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his ears aren't exactly where you'd expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he invented Branston pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the cameramen... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and long before anyone else, he realized that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs... [the audience applauds wildly and Jeremy pauses for a short moment]... [laughing] all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Some say he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the Cash for Honours scandal... all we know is, he's called Lord Stig!
Some say he's a CIA experiment gone wrong, and that he only eats cheese... all we know is, he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's American cousin!
Some say that if you lick his chest, it tastes exactly the sa
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